WordArt

Don't Go Away- Oasis (1997)

Cold and frosty morning there's not a lot to say
About the things caught in my mind
And as the day was dawning my plane flew away
With all the things caught in my mind

I don't wanna be there when you're ... Coming down
I don't wanna be there when you hit the ground

So dont go away, say what you say Say that you'll stay
Forever and a day ... In the time of my life
Cos I need more time, yes I need more time just to make things right

Damn my situation and the games I have to play
With all the things caught in my mind
Damn my education I can't find the words to say
With all the things caught in my mind

Me and you whats going on?
All we seem to know is how to show
The feelings that are wrong


I heard this song at the gym the other day and it's been stuck in my head. I sometimes wonder how long it will take for me to get all the things uncaught from in my mind. And if it could ever be too late. And what to do in the meantime. I know I'm not alone in it anymore, but it still feels like a lonely place to be stuck, with nothing quite to say, and nothing quite to do, but be and wait. With all the things caught in my mind.

I hear that when you decide in your heart that what you want most is to be open to God and to know Him, the Enemy is most threatened and ready to attack. It makes unavoidable sense, and from what I can tell, it's on.

We sat around the table Tuesday night and we shared our hearts a little. It's been a good run. 5 months now, of a commited pursuit of God and His heart, in ways we have never known to seek Him before. We have only a few weeks left, and during this time a most focused regimen will be sought, revealed, and followed as we learn to put on Christ in new ways.

And the truth is that I'm nervous. I am excited, because I know that God's promises are good and that fruit cannot help but grow from the branch that abides in the Vine. But for a girl who likes to be the chillest thing around, I find myself anxious that I don't know what God will do. I don't know who He will make me, now that He has secured His identity in my heart.

I find myself praying this picture. This image of the human heart with a seed planted deep inside. And the dry seed sits for some time in this dark empty hollow way, and finally, roots emerge and stems emerge and a deep green plant begins to fill the hollow. Slowly, but surely, the appendages of this plant reach the edges of the heart and begin to seep beyond its edges, until a great plant has grown-- its branches mirroring its roots in size and extention. The leaves glisten and fruit begins to develop on the branches. Such beautiful fruit that its taste is unquestionably exotic and sweet and nourishing, and the seeds within long to burrow themselves deep in rich soil.

I feel more and more that my soul, once connected with the Holy Spirit becomes like the seed of a plant. It is the only analogy that feels right. I am nothing, and then we are seed, and then we are dried and prepared, and then we (the Spirit and I) are planted in my human heart, and then we grow out, and we dig deep and we grow up and we reach to the depths of my being and to the heights of the world's edge and we are meant to live with shiny green leaves and we bear fruit and it is delicious. And where the fruit is consumed the Spirit falls to the earth and continues Its work.

I know it's happening. Whether or not I feel the lush green liveness going on inside, it is happening always-- we are growing. And the more that I want health and growth, the more the Enemy seeks to devour me at the root. Sometimes cloudy days come to disable photosynthetic process, and sometimes pests come and devour my shiny green leaves, and sometimes it's a fungus, and sometimes it's a dry season, and sometimes a flood threatens to wash the ground away. But we are an organism that does not die like that. We survive everything and thrive for the glory of God. Because function wins in evolutionary theory, and this is ours.

And finally the analogies of warfare make sense to my ecologically trained mind. And I remember that God knows me and stirs my heart with the same images that were in His own heart before there was earth and plants.

And I remember that I am so very small. And that there is so much more going on than I can ever fully grasp. But that the very simple truth is a reality of God and His Love. And this is very much enough.